Saying Yes

B: "Mommy, can I have hot chips?" (Dorritos)

Me: "Not today, honey."

B: "Mommy, can I buy Kisha (daddy's fiancee) a chocolate bar? Pleeeeeease. This is her favorite!!!"

Me: "Nope, another time."

B: "Can we go to the park?"

Me: "No, mommy is tired."

B: "Can we play hide and seek?" (asked about 5 times a day).

Me: "No, granny is busy and mommy is tired."

B: "Can I help make dinner?"

Me: "Not this time, we are in a hurry."

B: "I NEED this Paw Patrol character!"

Me: "You have a zillion Paw Patrol things."

Brycen is really very good at accepting no. I never have had to deal with a tantrum in public due to him not getting what he wants. There are a few times where he asks again and again, just to make sure I said no, and maybe a small pout here and there.

My "nos" are not usualy straightforward. I give him choices. We can't go to the park, but you can play outside when we get home. Or, you can get the Dorritos, but then you are not getting the cookies. Which would you rather have? This has worked great for Brycen, just as it worked for the most part in my classroom for 13 years.

This was always my favorite. Me to student: "CONGRATS! You can pick one thing out of the treasure box!" Student: "Could I pick 2?" Me in a cheery voice: "Nope, but you can have zero!!"

(side note: Brycen more than makes up with his tolerance of hearing no by being the world's biggest whiner in the car. We could be going to the local pizza joint less than a mile away and I would hear 36 times: "Are we there YET!!?" My ears bleed on car trips.)

Do people still call places that make pizza 'pizza joints'?

Anyway, I don't feel guilty saying no to him, it is absolutely logical to make sure he knows he can't have everything in life. This kid has 2 homes and 2 families who love him very much, and is about to gain a third as his daddy gets married. So he can live without an icee or the latest Matchbox car.

But once in a while, it is fun to just say yes. And it doesn't have to be monetary items. Saying yes to time well spent is way more memorable. But on this particular day, I threw in a couple more yeses, because you never know if you'll have another day like this.

"Mommy, can we go to the zoo?"

Hell yeah!! So we packed up our snacks, our meds, and my sister in-law and headed south.

At the gas station in South Carolina, land of deep accents and cheap gas, Brycen asked for "hot chips" which is what he calls Dorritos, because there was a picture of Batman on them. Well-played, Dorritos. I don't think Brycen ate 5 chips. It was really all about Batman. Meanwhile the cashier politely asked if the Eeeeaster buuunny would be viiiiiiis -i - tin' to which Brycen just stared blankly at her.

Thank goodness for portable DVD players on long trips. Brycen happily watched something with headphones on, although he did pause about 5 times to ask if we were there yet. 5 times in 90 minutes is not a bad ratio though. No bleeding from my ears.

I tried to take a fair amount of pictures and videos at the zoo, but I still missed out on some things. For example, the popcorn. We waited 15 minutes in line for a bag of popcorn (another YES) because the lady in front of us had decided to bring seven junior high age boys to the zoo and they all had to pay for their icees separately. Did she lose a bet? Finally, the popcorn was neatly tied to my wheelchair and requested often throughout the day - but I must be off my game - no pictures.

The first 30 minutes were really about popcorn, riding in mommy's wheelchair and riding the merry-go-round. (yes, yes, and yes). Can somebody tell me why I can't just give the attendant at the carousal the $2? Why do I have to go wait in a different line to load money onto a card? Is someone hoping I will put extra money on the card, since I waited in line anyway? Shenanigans. Luckily Brycen was patient, and totally enthralled watching kids on a rock climbing wall.

Yes, I promise we were actually at a zoo. A zoo with animals. But when you let a 4 year old lead the day, you get a variety show.

Finally, after the merry-go-round, we started to see the main show. Brycen loves the lions, tigers and bears. The lions and tigers were actually out moving - not just sleeping. I feel bad though, these animals deserve more than these tiny enclosure.

The turtles were happy though.

Brycen loved following the map. He could tell by the pictures what animal was next. The map was the other star of the trip, second to only the popcorn. My wheelchair was a close third. He had no problem giving it up when mommy needed it!

Brycen is NOT a huge animal lover. Still, he was intrigued by the elephants, and the gorillas. The small mammals made him nervous. I also made the mistake of teasing him about monkeys throwing their poo at him. if you saw how scared he became after that, you would have signed me up for world's worst mother award.

Another star of the day? The photo booth. I know, the zoo is not a likely place to visit a photo booth, but where is? When will I get this chance again!? I knew the second I saw it Brycen and I would have to get our pictures done. That might have been my favorite non-animal event.

We then moved on to the sleeping kangaroos and wallabies, and visited the penguins in the bird house.

I am glad I got the above shot. You would think Brycen knew exactly where to go on that map. Lead the way, young sir!!

He wouldn't feed the parakeets or the giraffes, but he had no problem throwing fish food over the fence and into the pond.

That wrapped up our trip to the zoo. We had said we would be there 2-3 hours and three hours flew by, and we didn't even see the aquarium, reptile exhibit or the barn yard animals. We had a horrible restaurant experience on the way home (never again, Applebees!) and Brycen watched Monster Inc. and slept.

I did well at the zoo, although if it was any farther away I would have needed to stay overnight. Driving home, especially in holiday weekend traffic, was tough. I did more walking than sitting in the wheel chair, mostly because I HATE when I can't control where I am going. And although I brought my colostomy supplies in the car, I failed to bring them into the park. Oops.

Overall, I would give the day 4.5 out of 5 stars. I think Brycen would have given it a 10 out of 5, telling by his smiles when I handed him off to his dad.

"Brycen, what was your favorite animal at the zoo?"

"You, mommy."

I don't know if I should be offended or deeply flattered.

There is the popcorn!! It did make an appearance!!

More adventures to come in the next few months!

Around Here . . .

I guess when I am not talking about hiking, I have nothing to blog about!

Around here, things have been roller-coastery for me. Last week, I was feeling a tad depressed. We were suppose to take Brycen to Asheville, but my stoma was showing signs of light bleeding. I want to travel so bad, but even a place 2-3 hours away seems too far.

So Friday I MADE myself get out of the house for something other than playing with Brycen outside. My mom and I went to Cheesecake Factory with a gift card I received from my birthday, and then to one of my favorite independent stores, Paper Skyscraper.

Outside, spring had sprung a little early:

On Saturday, Brycen started T-ball. What a difference between playing a sport at 3 years of age versus 4. The three year olds were adorable, but also provided the comedy! One little guy ran straight to second and kept going until he reached another field, where soccer practice was taking place. Brycen was much more content and relaxed with T-ball than he ever was with indoor soccer. In fact, I think he might have even been bored at times waiting for all the kids to have a chance to bat!

We celebrated his and his cousin's first practice by taking them to breakfast, where I had my first chicken and waffle experience. So good.

After we all went home and had a nap, it was off to my brother's house for a cookout, and for lego fun. I was doing great! So much energy.

On Sunday we decided to to do a little giving. We brought flowers to a close friend of mine who was recently diagnosed with cancer. We then crossed Charlotte's midsection, getting every single red light. I hardly recognized my old neighborhood! Brycen whined the whole time. There needs to be a faster way to get from East Charlotte to West, but B loved handing out a birthday present for another dear friend. And peeing on her sidewalk. Boys.

Random sky picture, because I LOVE hazy skies. I often can't stand hot days without a cloud in the sky to provide relief. 

I was still going strong Monday. I had CT scans done at a new place, not the hospital - and they offered CHOICES in contrast beverages. So instead of 32 ounces of odd tasting water, I got 2 16 ounce cups of Cran-Raspberry juice. Yummmm. I had never been to an office where people were so pleasant on a Monday morning, even though I was 15 minutes late for my appointment. (Again, Charlotte traffic).

We stopped for donuts on the way home, and then I got to work on another drawing. I had been completing a drawing every day or two . . .

. . . but it all ended on Tuesday. Chemo day. My CT scans from Monday morning showed growth in some areas but stability in my liver, which prompted my oncologist to continue my current every other week schedule - which is basically keeping me alive these days. On top of that, my stoma was enlarged and sore. Luckily a good friend of mine sat with me, and kept me entertained for the 2 or so hours. I rarely get to see her, so I was basically "throwing up" news after news about me and questions as to catch up. You know the stream of conversation when you have no idea how you got onto the topic? That was us! After I was hooked up to my 46 hour pump, she drove me home.

Tuesday night my stoma was still greatly enlarged, and I could see veins were ready to pop. I quickly put a cold compress on it, and it shrunk to normal size. All day Wednesday I slept or worked on a puzzle, and things seemed to be quiet in the ostomy bag.

t wasn't until after 9pm when I checked my stoma I realized it was heavily bleeding. Fortunately we got the bleeding under control, so no ER trip. But it means I will need a few days of laying as still as possible to not agitate it. This afternoon (Thursday) I went downstairs, propped myself on the couch as to not disturb the site, and realized I was bleeding AGAIN. Just from walking down the stairs! This time it was just lightly, but it sent me into a tizzy of a bad mood. Why do I have to deal with this damn thing when I feel so good otherwise? It is really scary because 99% of the time I don't know it's bleeding. It doesn't hurt. I'm scared I will bleed out while sleeping. I am scared I will pass out during a baseball game. And the worst part, is doctors really are baffled by it, except to say "just take it as easy as possible -it only bleeds when irritated." So I have to spend 3-4 days on my back playing games on my phone until I am cross eyed? Because it is really hard to sit up to draw, eat, even type this right now, without pissing off Ornery Mona the Stoma.

Guess who is more irritated?

But let's end on some happy pictures, from TWO weeks ago, when spring was just started to drift in. You can see by our hats it was still chilly:

I hope all is better with you!!

One more thing: Next month I am renting a place on the beach. Ocean front. I don't care the weather, people who know me know I love a rainy day as much as a sunny one. Brycen will be with us for at least half the trip, if not all (except I don't want him to miss T-ball). A friend from NYC might be here, she might not. All I know is, this damn stoma will NOT ruin this trip. Will. NOT.

The Alaska Album!

Here is the story of my year in Alaska, and how it came to be:

1. I've always had wanderlust. When I moved to Charlotte from upstate NY in 2001, it was more for the convenience - I had friends and could get a job here. Not downplaying how much my friends and job have meant to me here, But I really wanted to live in Montana. Or Northern California. Or Flagstaff. Or San Diego. Or Wyoming. I just wanted to experience a different place.

2. Fast forward to 2007, as I was finishing my masters degree, and STILL felt the wanderlust.

3. Anchorage, Alaska finally won out. I am pretty sure Jill's blog was a deciding factor, although she lived in Homer, not Anchorage.

4. I didn't know a single person in Alaska, but I was quick to make friends with fellow bloggers. They helped me get set to live up there.

5. I secured a job over the phone teaching in Anchorage in March, 2008.

6. I moved in August 2008. I blogged everyday about my experience, and gained a good fan base, especially from friends and family back home. I wish I didn't erase that blog. But now I have a complete scrapbook!

7. I tried to experience as much as Alaska as I could, but it was clear: by January I knew I could only give it a year. And knowing I was moving back home cheered my greatly.

8. I continued to live the Alaska life until July 2009, when I boarded my car and myself on a ferry and headed back home to North Carolina.

Here are some pages from my scrapbook. Yes, SOME. This thing has a lot of pages and a lot of layouts and is 12 inches by 12 inches and weighs nearly 10 pounds:

The title page.

Notes from the long ride.

Hatcher's Pass was my first Alaskan hike/adventure!

I did A LOT in September.

I love simple filler cards: adding one sticker to a 3x4 piece of kraft paper, for example.

November was a beautiful month. Love the hoar frost on trees.

Depression and sickness settled in December, but this day was a bright spot. 

A BFF comes to visit from Charlotte, when it was 55 degrees in Anchorage! Warmer than Charlotte. Everything that melted during the day turned to black ice overnight. We were out of school for 3 days. 

The light starts to return in February. 

Spring!

My solo trip to Kodiak Island . . . I have a draft writing of my experience this weekend, someday I will publish.

Alaska animals. 

Back to summer in Anchorage.

I am so delighted to have this album done, so Brycen will know the whole story of my year in Alaska.